How often do we find that our worst critic is ourselves? I don’t know about you but I say some horrible stuff to myself at times. Quite frankly, I’m surprised I haven’t punched myself. Ironic really, because if someone else said it to us we would stop seeing them. But you can’t stop seeing yourself. Most self-criticism comes down to three key factors. See if you think these apply to you at all.
1. I’m not good enough.
This one is a big one and so common. So many of us feel we aren’t good enough. Usually it relates to physical appearance, or ability. I’m ugly, too fat, too thin, not strong enough, not fit enough. And/or I’m not clever enough, rich enough, talented enough. These messages start from a young age – think about it. How many of you reading this started with these negative thoughts before the age of 16? Most of you.
2. I’m not likeable.
The not being good enough often means that we start to believe we aren’t likeable or loveable. Even though we will love other people with the same ‘faults’, we won’t believe that we are loveable. I’ll tell you now it’s utter c**p. Everyone is loveable, including you.
3. It always goes wrong.
Always thinking that something goes wrong means that we only ever focus on the time it does go wrong, not the time it goes right. This is called confirmation bias – what you look for is what you will see – and often it increases our anxiety levels.
All these things will have a negative impact on your mental health and wellbeing – it will affect your happiness. But don’t worry if you’ve related to this, you can change it. I promise. Change won’t happen overnight, think how long you’ve been practising the negative thoughts, it’s become a habit. We can change our thoughts if we want to, and if we are prepared to work at it. Start looking for some Cognitive Behaviour Type help such as Balanced People & Balanced Schools to turn things around. You are good enough. You are likeable and it won’t always go wrong.
Remember you’re amazing.
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